a disposition to bear injuries patiently : forbearance
I have none of this. Or if I had it once it is long gone. In the personal sense I have learned to let thoughts and opinions of others roll off of me. Why should I care what you think of my life? You are only passing through it. Maybe you’ll be here for years or maybe you’ll be gone in a few hours. Either way, I and I alone have to answer to myself. I’ve not chosen to obey anyone.
Words like “should” and “let” are the worst form of impertinence in my opinion, for whoever cares. Who is anyone to tell me what I should do in any situation. Casually telling someone they should read a book or watch a movie is understood to be a suggestion. They enjoyed something and want to pass it along. The height of human kindness. But to tell anyone they should organize their life or manage their choices by your say so is incredibly arrogant. And then there is the word “let.” No one lets me do anything. I don’t need to gain permission. My choices are my own and I am mature enough to handle the consequences of those choices.
What I lack is the longanimity to endure coworkers, strangers, the mob of humanity we are exposed to each an every day. I rage in my car at the person who can’t speed up or the ass in the left lane who won’t let me pass. Internally I scream at the person who stood in a line for fifteen minutes and never thought to have money ready. There is no forbearance, no patiently bearing incompetence and sloth-like movement. We are all tired, we all want to go home, and we could if you would just get it together and move along. Move, move faster, move more efficiently. Do it at work, do it in public. Just be better or move to the side and let us get on with it.
That’s not to say I am encouraging some Lord of the Flies, survival of the fittest dogma. If you need help or a little more time it should be given, but you should ask. You should be adult enough to say “I don’t know how this works” or to have one of those moments we all have when our wits abandon us and turn to the people around you and apologize for your brain fart.
I will help you, I will forgive you. We have all been there. It has happened to us all.
Be aware of the people around you. Understand and recognize they are just like you. Extend them the courtesy and kindness of acknowledging that your stumble costs them too. Ripples in a pond my friend.
But don’t expect to make my day harder and longer and you say nothing, you do nothing as if sucking more from the people around you is your due. What makes you so special? Why should you not have to comply with the social contract of politeness? Why must those around you bear the fallout of your incompetence? When you behave like this I silently and tight-lipped imagine choking the life from you because I know it won’t be appropriate for me to growl and shout at you. And why should I? That’s precious energy. Why waste it on you? I need it for things that matter. Things I could be doing if you would just get the hell out of my way.