VWW- Dating (and why I want more than a dick pic)

 

Date: noun a social appointment or engagement arranged beforehand with another person, especially when a romantic relationship exists or may develop

Dating: verb-A form of romantic courtship typically between two individuals with the aim of assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. The result of dating may at any time lead to friendship, any level of intimate relationshipmarriage, or no relation.

The Urban Dictionary has a more realistic definition of the nuances that are modern dating.

 

 

I fucking hate dating. I hated it before there was technology and I hate it even more now. Lets put aside the fact that swipe culture and the anonymity of the internet has created short attention spans and an increased level of shallowness. That rant is for another time. I want more than a cock.

That seems that all a modern man is willing to invest is his cock. Sometimes it is blatant in sending of unsolicited dick picks (Please, just stop!) Or they say they only want casual and that means that you have no value as a person but they don’t want to actually pay for a whore. They will try to avoid dates because your pussy isn’t even worth the cost of a cup of coffee. Instead they offer some version of Netflix and chill. WTF is that? Hell, I’d be happy if a man offered to permit me to see where he lives. Often they only want to come to my place. I guess it’s easier to leave. The old-fashioned ones will lie. They will pretend to be the things you want, will act like they have a genuine interest right up until you sleep with them. Then it’s all “I don’t want commitment” and “I thought we were just having a good time.” Ugh! We were until you decided I had no value and it was OK to treat me like I had no value.

 

What every woman thinks when opening a text and seeing a dick pic

I feel like this is the narrative inside the average mans mind; “What is the minimum effort that I can put forth to get her to fuck me. If I like fucking her what is the minimum effort I can continue to exert to get her to keep fucking me, but only when it’s convenient for me and never for her. Because she isn’t real and doesn’t matter. All that matters is that I get my dick wet and get to live out some of the porn fantasies the internet has shown me.”No one is allowed to have feelings anymore. Emotions might as well be herpes. Actually, I think saying I had herpes would be received better than if I said I enjoyed spending time with a man.

Examples from my recent experience (names changed because I have integrity, not because they deserve it). Carlos has been texting and fucking me since the spring and I just realized that he may not remember my name. Jack is married and claims to be in an open relationship. He only wants sex and only on Tuesdays. So, what do I get out of that? Dennis and I had great conversation and amazing chemistry. But I realized that he never asked me any questions, nor did he compliment me on anything that wasn’t sexual. He wants to fuck me, but I don’t think he likes me or finds me attractive. Then there is the growing trend of men that claim to be “ploy”  and the assholes that think this is licence to act like fuck boys,

Is it too much to ask for a man who knows his masculinity lies in his strength of character and not in his pants?

I want to find someone I have a connection with. I’m not talking marriage. I don’t really have an end game in mind. It would be nice to have some companionship to enhance the physical relationship. Someone who will hold my hand, put their arm around me, and watch a movie to the end before trying to get my clothes off. Really, I am setting the bar pretty low here.

Blood Flow

images (1)

It occurred to me that most miscommunication is a direct result of only seeing things from your own perspective. As such, this might contribute a great deal to the so-called battle of the sexes between men and women. So here is the thought process that set this off.

I was pondering a date I had where I had mentioned to the man how I don’t like grocery stores. I explained why; that they have too many choices, most of them are not food, I don’t like being advertised to, my dislike of branding, etc. He heard none of that. What he heard was “I have never been to a grocery store.” Not sure where he got that or if he thought I had been raised in a cave as opposed to the American Megalopolis that is the Northeast, but he was convinced I just hadn’t seen a grocery store.

game_shows__supermarket_sweep_by_masterof4elements-d85fjbw

So that is where he chooses to take me. Now when we walked in and he grabbed a cart I should have bolted. There is something wrong with us women at a social level that we swallow our instincts for self-preservation in order to not offend, but that is a rant for another time. Anyway, he pushes the cart through the doors into the produce section. Here he begins his tour of the fruits and vegetable and explains organics to me. (He works in IT, I’ve spent the past 18 years working in food manufacturing specializing in regulatory. I know organics). It goes on like this through each aisle. He was explaining it to me and showing me boxes and cans like I just arrived from behind the Iron Curtain.

He was so full of himself and his ability to enlighten me to the horror that is American consumerism that he failed to notice my utter disgust, mainly at him but also at his dietary choices.  He saw no reason not to multi task and was doing his shopping on our date. Oh yeah, he is a winner. After we check out and I help him load his cleverly disguised corn-based food like products into his car he says “I’d really like to take you to dinner sometime.” Really? Then maybe you should have done that instead of ignoring my comments (truly, it’s like I wasn’t even speaking) and acting like a white knight that saved me from my ignorant peasant life of Supermarket free-living. I bolted and was grateful I didn’t mention I am not in the habit of watching television. I shudder at what that would have been like!

download

The Mansplaining statue at the University of Incarnate Word in San Antonio, TX (of course!)

Back to perspective. This is what I have come up with. It’s a flawed theory that assumes many erroneous, though commonly held misconceptions. However, these are integral to my theory, so go along with it.

It is widely accepted that the male of the species only have enough blood to operate either the brain or the genitals (thank you, Robin Williams). Being a marvelous feat of evolutionary hydro engineering I can kind of see how this correlation without causation myth has come to be ingrained in our culture. And since our cultural beliefs do in fact influence our behavior it’s not that much of a leap to use this as my hypothesis. So, yes, I think this is crap but that isn’t important. What matters is that a vast majority of people do think this is valid. They accept it as fact and weave it into how they perceive the world around them.

What I began to wonder is that if men believe that they only have enough blood flow to successfully operate either the brain or the penis do they then project that belief on to women? Do they think that women only have enough blood to operate either the brain or the tits? And if so, given that the tits are always demonstrating the same tensile strength, does that justify the long-held belief that females are of inferior intelligence? Is that why men are always trying to explain thing to us?